Doing the Dave Chappelle

I’m doing a Dave Chappelle aka going to Africa. I have a friend in the State Department who is stationed in Namibia. She has a huge house with a pool and a person who cooks. That’s all I need to know. 10 years ago, I was supposed to visit her post in Tel Aviv but it was a month after 9/11 and I just wasn’t up for that much adventure. So, it will be good to finally visit her on one of her posts. The trip is 14 hours from Atlanta to Johannesburg, a two hour layover there and a short flight to Windhoek, Namibia’s capital. And here’s a travel I learn the hard way: Do NOT wear a polyester dress for a 20 hour travel day. I am so smelly by the time I arrive there, I feel like I’m native to the place and should be sleeping outside. On the plane to JoBurg, I watch four movies, The Celine Dion documentary  and catch up on episodes of Nurse Jackie Season 2.  I arrive in JoBurg and the layover time has been shortened. I end up running through the airport with a man I slipped $20 to help me get from one concourse to the other in time for the flight. When I arrive in the small waiting area, I reek! I go into the bathroom, remove my polyester dress and birdbath in the sink but my B.O. is no match for this JoBurg airport liquid soap. The poor woman sitting next to me in the waiting area doesn’t last 60 seconds before she’s up and standing across the room. If you’re reading this, I’m so sorry. Impressions of Namibia come next.

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